When things start falling apart
by Loz06
Summary: Neil.Andrea. Sequel to 'Outside influences on their lives.' Neil’s marriage to Philippa takes a dramatic turn and Bruce wants Andrea out of Sun Hill because the stories just aren’t coming in and these both put Andrea under a lot more pressure.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: When things start falling apart

**Author**: Loz

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil/Andrea…All Neil/Andrea

**Series**: Story number sixteen. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:

(1) After he's at her door – 2486705

(2) When the mighty fall – 2506192

(3) While his wife's away – 2525486

(4) While they're away – 2543010

(5) When love's not working – 2543013

(6) Boundaries when broken up - 2562611

(7) What happens on the train – 2579012

(8) When they work together – 2595808

(9) When she wants him back – 2598312

(10) When they're stuck together – 2611364

(11) When they're back together – 2619492

(12) Life almost in balance – 2630121

(13) Life under pressure – 2666280

(14) Trying to have a life together – 2699235

(15) Outside influences on their lives – 2704730

(16) When things start falling apart - 2727112

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive **(if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net.

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.

**Summary**: Neil's marriage to Philippa takes a dramatic turn and Bruce wants Andrea out of Sun Hill because the stories just aren't coming in and these both put Andrea under a lot more pressure.

**Authors' notes**: Unfortunately things are going to slow up a little from here on in; I've only got one more story typed after this one but plenty more written on paper. Happy New Year and a belated Merry Xmas from me!

**Thanks**: Thank you to all the lovely people who have been reviewing. I so enjoy reading the messages **you** leave for **me**. Lornz, Fabio, Meegan, aerialplug, Gem6, madz87, I'm going to start calling you my groupies cause you lovely people have reviewed all of my last few stories! Thank you: 0)

**Disclaimers**: All characters here not owned by me (all of them!) will come back (if I ever finish this story) slightly dishevelled, not falling apart. Cheers to the owners.

* * *

Neil badly wants the whiskey that sits on the table next to Philippa to be a tool to help her relax, not a celebratory drink. It's been a long time since she's just sat and done nothing, it doesn't dampen the fire inside of him and the last thing he wants is civility, nothing less than shouting the house down will make him feel better.

"I hope you're happy, pleased and proud." Philippa doesn't turn, lifting the crystal glass to take another mouthful of the body numbing liquid. "You let a murderer walk, you helped him get off." She remains stoic, back still to him. "Its no wonder people have lost faith in the system."

"You let a murderer walk Neil, you didn't do your job properly...it's not all my fault." Philippa stands and leaves and for a second he thinks he sees something in her eyes – guilt, regret? She's certainly not flying on the success induced high he expected her to be on.

"I won't be handling his defence when you appeal." Her voice floats down the stairs and Neil lies awake that night next to her wondering why she's not going to see the case through.

* * *

Bruce is already sitting on the bench as Andrea makes her way to their arranged meeting spot. He ends his call when she sits down next to him. As usual they don't look at one another, their only contact when she passes over the folder of information she collected on Yvonne, right back to Hendon. She felt sick doing it but something told her she was dancing along a line with Bruce.

"I want you to report daily."

Andrea stiffens knowing she has to protest carefully. "You want to meet daily?"

"By message will be fine." As she thinks about it, Andrea realises there's not much damage in his request.

"What do you want to know?"

"What you're working on, what the rest of the station is working on." Andrea realises where this is going.

"Then you're going to decide what story to pursue and how." Bruce says nothing but that's the size of it.

"You don't trust me." Andrea shakes her head disbelieving. "You think I've been filtering what information I give to you, so you're going to treat me like a first year intern."

"No." He replies forcefully, but it's the word that's more of a surprise to her. "You've lost your enthusiasm; you've been in there too long. Time to get out soon."

For a long time after Bruce's gone, Andrea sits and thinks about his words – time to get out soon. She doesn't imagine the pressure that squeezes a little more each day, the deeper she gets involved with Neil; the more Bruce thinks she needs to get out. Her life has become a vice, tightening a little by day, chased away for short periods when she's with Neil.

* * *

"So how big?" Neil says into the phone, his eyes stray over to Smithy, leaning over Jim and his desk. "No it's a flat." He taps his pen watching the uniformed sergeant. "How much?" He gets to the point.

Jim and Smithy disappear out of sight and Neil wishes the woman would talk a little faster. "I'll be there around five, is that suitable...Thank you."

His attempts to find out what the new case Smithy has bought to CID are thwarted by his mobile phone. Philippa calling it reads and for a moment he allows panic to grip him.

"What's wrong?" He says immediately.

"Nothing, why?"

"You never call me at work is all," he instantly relaxes.

"I've just seen Phil Hunter." Immediately Neil knows this isn't going to be pleasant, Phil's reputation and actions to match don't only cause him grief.

"I've invited him to Castilia Saturday night, at seven, I trust you won't embarrass me and act like you know nothing about it."

"I wish you hadn't done that, Phil's supposed to work for me." Neil sighs rubbing his face, a tension headache developing.

"I need to be around friends Neil, a night free from hostilities. You can make your excuses but it will look pointed." Neil realises she has him and that was probably the plan.

"I'll be there." He hangs up without saying goodbye, he's too late Smithy and Jim have gone.

Later as he leaves early he tries not to glare at Phil but his subordinate smirks at him, knowing what Neil is holding back.

* * *

"How'd you get here so early?" Andrea asks seeing Neil in the archway of her flat.

"Close your eyes." He steps to her, pushing the flat door closed.

"Why?" She asks suspiciously.

"Just do it." He blocks her from further progression into the flat. Sighing she complies letting Neil lead her to the sofa.

"Is this going to hurt?" She jokes opening one eye but can see nothing past his hand.

"Be patient." Neil smiles, he can't believe he didn't think of this before. "Hold your hands out on your lap."

Andrea complies looking over where Neil's voice comes from, her head tilted too high.

Neil lifts the tiny furry gift from the box that had a blanket covering it, the dark ensuring the gift didn't give away its true nature. He holds the puppy next to Andrea's face knowing it won't be able to resist licking her affectionately, he's not wrong.

"Did you just lick me?" Andrea's voice is almost high pitched, the puppy lands in her hands on her lap courtesy of Neil. Her eyes instantly open.

"Oh my God," her voice is both surprised and happy; the puppy's cute face instantly endears itself to her. "Can I even have a dog in this building?"

"You can." Neil watches as she pets the tiny animal that's small enough to carry under her arm or in her handbag.

"She's so cute." He watches the joy the gift has bought her; his face becomes misty as he sees how happy she is. "She won't get bigger than mid shin."

"Why did you, I love her, my birthday's been and gone." Andrea doesn't look at him; too busy petting the puppy that rolls over to have its stomach rubbed. Andrea laughs out loud.

"I was thinking about what you said, about having something that's ours."

"Yeah," Andrea says watching Neil rub the puppy's stomach. There's more love in her eyes than words could ever express. In a minute Neil mirrors her look, it's Andrea who leans in to kiss him.

She feels the puppy wiggle in her lap and Andrea looks down to find her new companion looking up at them. "She's watching us." Andrea almost squirms, putting a hand in front of the innocent eyes.

"We have to decide on a name, what she's going to eat, where she's going to sleep, we have to train her, house training too and if we…" He trails off and places his hands over the floppy ears, "want to de-sex her." His actions have Andrea once again laughing till there's tears. She suddenly has an image of walking in the park hand in hand with Neil who throws a ball for their pup to chase, she doesn't banish the image.

"Cally." Andrea says out of nowhere and looks to Neil for approval.

"Cal." He shortens the name smiling; she's just made their first joint decision.

"The pet store will still be open."

Two hundred pounds later, Cally has a bed – elevated off the ground, jumpers and bedclothes, food, a collar personalised with an engraved pendant with her name on it and Andrea's phone number, car harness, essential medicine and more toys than she can play with in a day.

"She'll have to be de-sexed; she can't go to the park…" Neil shifts his weight to the other foot as Andrea looks through the oven at their boxed meals, he looks sympathetically at Cally. "Don't do that." Andrea can't stop herself from laughing. "She can sleep in the laundry, she has to have some obedience training and she has to be house trained."

"You know you'll have to take her out." In the next room a soft toy squeaks.

"She'll learn to hang on." Andrea investigates the noise, the little puppy gnawing at a plastic bone. They don't know it but to the outside observer they could be mistaken for proud parents.

"What are we going to do with her Saturday when we go out?" It brings the phone call earlier crashing back to Neil.

"Philippa's organised for us to go out Saturday night with Phil." Neil doesn't need to add to his voice the fact he's not looking forward to the night.

"Phil Hunter?"

"They're friends." Its clear Neil doesn't approve but there's something else in his tone.

"You don't think they're...?" Andrea drops into the sofa, for a moment Neil thinks about it then smiles.

"No, Phil could never look me in the eye if that was the case, his cockiness hides mass insecurity." Andrea laughs but she's not really sure why.

"Well you couldn't be angry or come down the mountain if they were." The comment doesn't sit well with Neil. "It'd be cosy if it was." She tries again.

"Not to mention bold and inappropriate, kind of like you sitting across the table from Philippa." Andrea baulks at the idea.

Later that night Andrea awakes to an unfamiliar sound, encased in Neil's arms she waits for her brain to kick in and decipher the sound. Next to her, Neil also stirs his groan indicates his displeasure at being snatched from slumber. Andrea's not immune to the cries of her new pet.

"You know what this reminds me of, getting up to cries in the middle of the night." Neil mumbles from behind her.

"Don't say it." Andrea mumbles back, pushing the covers off herself.

* * *

At four Neil considers extracting himself from the little outing that night, appearances be damned. But something pulls him back, maybe it's the fact the house seems lighter with Philippa's occasional smile, perhaps it's just a sense of decency. Neil doesn't want to think maybe a tiny bit of him suspects there's something going on between Philippa and Phil, his presence designed to stop anything starting or continuing. Is it an attempt by Philippa to put him off by putting them together in front of him? Neil shakes the thoughts out of his head.

The car trip is silent until Philippa says, "thank you for doing this; I know it's not easy." Neil doesn't reply, he doesn't know why, anger or maybe he just can't think of anything to say, it seems to be genuine but a cynical section of him can't help but think he's being set up.

Phil is propping up the bar when they arrive, a pre dinner drink while he waits for those who will be joining him. He embraces Philippa kissing her on the cheek. His greeting of Neil though polite is stiff and Neil is guarded.

He watches Philippa and Phil laugh and joke through the meal as though he wasn't there. Inside he seethes, watching Philippa cover Phil's hand with hers, Phil lapping up the attention.

"So what are you working on at the moment?" Phil asks and Philippa's smile evaporates, she shifts uncomfortably in her chair. Neil waits with interest for her answer.

"What isn't she working on, she's going to defend the world and save us all." Neil's words would be complimentary if it wasn't for the bite.

"Nothing special at the moment," Philippa smiles uncomfortably at Phil.

"Yes we all need protecting from the MET monster, unfortunately it doesn't stop her working so much her family never sees her, but then again we're expendable, the extras in her life, there to play a secondary role so that she doesn't look like she's all about her job. A justifiable sacrifice for someone climbing a career ladder."

"Neil can we not do this here?" Philippa hisses and Phil shrinks uncomfortably in his seat.

"Why to save you the embarrassment? You didn't think about that as you sat here and put on a show for me for the past hour." He slaps the napkin that once rested on his lap on the table.

"Neil." Phil comes to Philippa's defence or to try and neutralise the situation, either way Neil doesn't care.

"That's Sir or DI Manson to you." He stands and walks out, not looking back.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

"What the hell was that?" The whiskey in Neil's hand has done little to numb his pain. Philippa finds him standing at the window of their bedroom where he waited and watched for her to come home.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Did you have to raise it all in front of Phil Hunter, all I wanted was a nice night out, we could have yelled and screamed at each other here and not made Phil feel uncomfortable, aren't you wondering if everyone will know about it on Monday? You picked a fight and then you stormed out."

"I don't give a damn about Phil Hunter's feeling and he knows I have plenty on him if he bothers opening his mouth. Could you see yourself tonight, the way you were acting with him in front of me?"

"For crying out loud, we're friends; you sat there sulking because you didn't want to go in the first place and I had to trick you into it, you said nothing all night."

"You didn't want me there anyway or you would have told me your plans before you invited Phil, better to flirt with him when I'm not there anyway. I was a bloody chaperone, what'd you think better invite Neil or he might get suspicious? I can see the matching monogrammed towels and bathrobes already – P.H. Philippa and Phillip Hunter."

"I can't talk to you," her voice full of disgust. "Come and talk to me when the leave you've taken of your faculties is over."

Neil doesn't go to talk to her, taking off to the garden where he tells himself his words are hypocritical; he knows it's true. He asks himself why he doesn't just let his marriage go quietly into the night, two people grown apart instead of picking fights and aggravations, is it for appearances sake because people would expect him to fight, less they assume he has an ulterior motive for wanting it over. He asks himself why he experiences such anger for things he's guilty of himself. What you hate in the other you see in yourself. He dreads the office on Monday.

* * *

Neil slows his steps as he sees Phil standing in his office, he pushes himself knowing he can't avoid the confrontation, he'd just hoped it wouldn't be first, as soon as he got to work. Phil says nothing as Neil checks the messages on his desk and the new work that's been dumped, case files that need his signature. 

"Spit it out Phil." Neil doesn't make eye contact.

"Me and Philippa," for a moment Neil lurches thinking Phil is going to confirm his suspicions. "We're just friends. I've known you and your wife for a long time and I wouldn't…" He shifts his weight to his other foot. "Stick my pen in the boss' ink."

Neil shakes his head at the crude phrasing. "Hardly reassuring given your track record."

"I respect you and Philippa and what you've got too much." It's going to take a lot more for Neil to be convinced. Phil's next words leave Neil flabbergasted.

"She thinks maybe you've given up, you want out, she's ready to cut and run as well because she feels so isolated." Anger directs at Philippa for sharing and incredulity Phil for suggesting he could play mediator.

"Oh you talked did you, the both of you?" Neil leaves Phil in no doubt of his incredulity.

"She's hurting." Neil almost laughs as Phil takes on the look of someone emotionally wounded.

"Well I am too and I'll be sure to call you when I need marriage counselling because yours was so successful." Neil roars and Phil doesn't have to be asked to leave.

As soon as Phil's gone, Neil picks up the phone.

He seethes over the fact Philippa has shared their marital problems with Phil Hunter, a man who has yet to manage an adult relationship. He wants to scream why didn't she tell him how she felt. He wants to act incredulous at the fact she's isolated, a feeling he thinks she should blame on herself. He wants to tell her to tell Phil to stay away, he wants to mock and belittle her over her supposed affair with Phil. Instead he stops, remembering the regret he experienced Saturday night in the garden over his hypocrisy. He doesn't make the phone call to the number he was originally going to.

Coming to his office as soon as possible takes fifteen minutes, when she gets there he looks determined, a studious scowl on his face as he looks up and sees her, then closes his office door.

"Let's do it, lets go next week." He doesn't move from behind the door, "Brighton."

"I'll have to swap some shifts." Andrea's determination is not at his level.

"Do it, I need to go away, be alone with you." The urgency in his words draws her to him.

"What happened?" Suddenly she sees past the determination, an event is driving the decision.

"My marriage is disintegrating and it's my fault." His face falls for the first time and Andrea pulls him into an embrace. She's not sure if a girlfriend is supposed to comfort her boyfriend over the break-up of his marriage but reality is coming crashing home for him. The magnitude and repercussions of his actions have been realised and someone has to cushion his fall and she's someone who knows how hard he falls. He's never once had to say he feels guilty, it's always been there…implied in his words and actions.

"I'm doing this…me and I don't want to but I don't want to stop seeing you either." Conflict fills his voice. "I don't like the person I'm becoming…I've become. I've handled this…" Insert the appropriate adjective that's hard to say Andrea thinks.

"What will you tell Philippa?" Andrea slowly releases him from her embrace.

"I've been invited to Hendon to talk to new recruits, I've done it before." It surprises Andrea how quickly he answers, he's been thinking about this.

"Of a weekend? That's dangerous Neil, Philippa can check with someone here and she's already asked you once if you're having an affair." The voice of reason and caution.

"My marriage is over bar the shouting, it wouldn't matter if she found out." They're not the words Andrea wants to hear.

"Why don't you tell her you need to get away, to think or something, it's at least half true?" Neil slowly accepts her idea. "I have to go, let's talk more tonight."

Outside his office Andrea feels the vice tighten another notch, suddenly things are moving fast, she's always felt protected by the gap between the present and the time when Neil would be free, that gap is getting smaller and she tells herself his being married has been convenient for her and she's liked it that way. She knows she won't be able to lie to Neil about being a journalist forever and suddenly she feels like she's swimming in the same vast ocean as he. Dragged by a competing current in two different directions, wading through the lies.

* * *

"How long will you been gone?" Philippa asks handing Neil a razor. She's not the tower of strength she is in the courtroom. She'd been calm when he'd told her, accepting, almost as if she expected it. She proceeded then to help him pack 

"I'll be back Sunday night." Philippa's acceptance isn't making it easy, somehow he'd feel more comfortable to leave her screaming and protesting; he'd feel the trip were justified. "I need to get away, I need to think and I need to have a break… for just a little longer than a night."

"It'll be good for us," another comment that triggers his guilt.

At the car Philippa puts his bags in, uncomfortably Neil watches her pack him off for a weekend with his girlfriend. "We'll be here when you get back."

"Be safe." Philippa says softly and presses her lips to his. The kiss surprises him for its warmth, emotion and feeling. It's a kiss that stays with him long after it's over and as he drives Andrea through the night to their destination, he thinks seriously for the first time what he's doing having an affair. Andrea can sense it and says nothing.

Despite leaving early in the afternoon it's late when they arrive but not so late for Andrea to not be surprised at their accommodation.

"The Grand!" Their bags are taken from the car that is whisked away by a valet. One only needs to walk into the foyer to realise their stay will be in five star luxury.

"Nothing but the best," Neil says as they check into their sea view room.

Too tired to do anything else both collapse into bed. For a while Andrea stares at the ceiling, already she has a niggling feeling something's not right with Neil. When he knows Andrea's asleep, he sits on the balcony breathing in the sea air, for hours he runs everything through his head, Philippa, Colin, Andrea, lies, lives destroyed. Andrea tosses and turns, haunted by her own demons.

* * *

Friday they spend their time immersing themselves in the arts scene and the museums. They're blessed with a sunny day as they take in the sights hand in hand. It's the only time Andrea truly relaxes – when they're away and she's comfortable they can integrate into a sea of other couples and tourists without chance of seeing anyone they know. Neil still has a small amount of his guard up, she catches him lost somewhere as she moves onto look at some artwork and he doesn't come with her, their hands still joined and arms stretching. She makes light of the situation, joking that he's miles away; still she locks each instance into her memory as if building a dossier. 

They hire inline skates, crashing and stumbling their way along the beachfront, wobbling and darting precariously through other holiday makers and though she's bruised and sore by the time their time is up and she's laughed till the tears have rolled down her face, it's as if Neil only has the ability to feel three quarters of anything.

In the café that afternoon, Andrea squeezes his hand and he makes the effort to smile but she knows him too well to believe it. The meal is punctuated by brief bursts of conversation and the walk along the pier back to the hotel is silent. Neil's inability to leave the problems of home behind leaves a space in her, that tumbles full of thoughts of her lies and deceptions. That space is usually silenced, blocked out when she's busy with Neil, since Thursday it's slowly gotten louder.

"It'll be o.k." Andrea knows she can make no guarantees or promises but she knows she needs to reach out to him, to let him know she's there because he's getting further away.

Saturday she wakes to an empty bed, his feet against the railing on the balcony, the sun spilling over the horizon. A part of her knows he's been there for quite a while, a mug of coffee resting next to the chair.

From behind she lets her arms rest loosely around him, over his shoulders, her lips press to his cheek. It's all she knows to do right now, just be there for him and remind him how much she loves him. Never for a moment does Andrea consider he might be thinking about ending them.

Still early morning and before they go out that day she pushes herself in the gym and swims laps till she's lost count. Although she thought exercise at some primal and repetitive level might clear her head, it serves only to change the topic – she begins to wonder just why Neil's not opening up to her and when the repetition gets boring she only thinks more.

There's more affection as they absorb the architecture that lines the streets, in the distance Andrea can hear the happy sounds of children's laughter from the rides on the pier. It occurs to her maybe he's thinking about his actions and doesn't want to hear her say what he already knows of himself to be true.

"Are you alright?" It's a question most loathed by everyone when you just want to be left alone. It's clear from his look he's hurting. "You're a good person." Andrea's voice is deliberately calm and soothing.

"I'm not sure anymore, you may be the only one who thinks that." Still it's a break through of sorts as he kisses her softly and holds her in a long hug, the lighter mood carries them through as they explore a fishing museum on the pier.

The crowd thins as dusk settles in, the lights from the rides now more obvious against the darkening sky. It should be romantic Andrea thinks, the children have gone, back to their hotels having the days fun washed away, it's mostly couples, the odd dog being walked, the stores slowly closing for the night, the sun has lost its strength and casts long shadows, the last of the days rays warming the cooling air and casting a golden hue on what it touches.

Andrea stops and slides her hand out of Neil's; she leans against a railing with her back to the water.

"This isn't helping is it?" Neil looks past her.

"What?" She's not convinced…he's playing ignorant.

"This weekend, I should go back, you need to be alone." Her eyes beg him to say no.

"No."

"You're having doubts, I can see it." Regardless of his reply they're leaving tomorrow and they can always go as soon as they get up in the morning. This had been nagging at her all day and finally she was willing to admit it.

"I love you." That much she has no trouble believing.

"I'm not sure that's enough." It's a gamble but it doesn't play out against her. Neil reaches for her hand, she pulls him into her and both sigh with the contact, there's moisture that crosses Andrea's eyes.

That night they make love for the first time since they've been away and it does bring them a little closer, there's still a lot up in the air though. They're hurried but not superficial with each other as though the act may heal the distress that they have and stop the wounds they're inflicting on one another.

At one in the morning Andrea finds herself sitting in the hotel nightclub drowning shots of vodka, neither sex nor alcohol numb. She has an obligatory dance with the tall and dapper brown haired guy that buys her a drink. She tries to enjoy herself, relax and let her guard down. He's handsome and seemingly sincere but she finds she's not capable of straying. She doesn't dare put herself a notch above Neil, she's equally as guilty as he – like the violent and non-violent criminal, they both still break the law. The handsome stranger tries to talk Andrea round but the events of the past few hours take affect and she feels nothing for him. When Andrea thanks him and declines politely she realises the only thing that has come from the drink and the tame dance is a feeling of guilt, Neil asleep four floors up. She could no more cheat on him than he could on her; the knowledge is a comfort to her.

When she sneaks back into the room she buries the clothes that now smell of cigarette smoke on the bottom of her bag. For a few minutes she watches Neil sleep, even unconscious he looks afflicted by his troubles.

Andrea spoons herself around him, staying that way until morning.

Neil's watching her sleep when Andrea wakes Sunday, that and his smile gives her hope that maybe the night has mystically banished his troubles, more logically he's probably made a decision, his smile puts her at ease about that decision.

The night comes flashing back to her, she's glad he doesn't know about her dance moves, the only legacy a slight hang over. Andrea just wants to forget, wipe it out as an emotionally driven mistake.

"No troubles today." Neil pushes some of her messed hair behind her ear.

"Sorry?"

"Let's go on those rides and forget all of it." Neil kisses her and Andrea doesn't let him pull back. She's tender and generous with him; she has last night to make up for even if he doesn't know it. She's also glad to have him back, though it's not necessary, she feels the need to show how much she loves him and doesn't want him gone. On top of her Neil responds with equal intensity.

They spend the morning being flung in every direction, laughing like children with all their innocence and cares. Andrea screams on purpose on the rollercoaster, she throws her head back inviting the feeling of freedom that the next spinning ride brings, she doesn't mind the dizziness. On the carousel Andrea plays up to the tame ride, cracking an invisible whip to hurry along the purple horse eventually she puts her head back watching the world spin slowly and the myriad of bright colours.

On the pier an old fortuneteller beckons Andrea into her tent but as she looks at Neil and the troubles that are creeping in, she doesn't think she wants to know what's coming up, much less she can guess without spending the money. As promised their troubles were blown aside till they're heading home.

Andrea waits at the car the valet brought around as Neil takes care of the payment. She doesn't want to know how much, after the jolting and jarring this morning, it may just be the thing that makes her sick. Her phone rings, surprising her though it shouldn't; someone's bound to be chasing her for something…particularly Bruce.

"Where are you?" He doesn't sound gruff like she'd expected.

"I'm away for the weekend." Andrea knows he'll be saying to himself she's with Neil.

"Will you be home tonight?" Andrea looks at her watch doing the calculations to check it won't be too late when she gets back.

"Around eleven?"

"I'll be there." She snaps her phone shut before Neil exits the hotel.

"What happens now?" Andrea doesn't expect he'll reply, she watches the countryside speed past, it's easier to swallow than any answer he'll have.

"I don't know." At least he's honest she concedes. After he's helped her upstairs with her things and lingered for sometime he makes a promise so many eventually break. "I'll call you."

Andrea looks at the clock; it's ten minutes to eleven.

Bruce is late but it doesn't matter to Andrea, the bigger the gap between Bruce and Neil the better she feels. He's oddly reserved when he arrives but never polite – politeness doesn't usually get a story. He's quiet, waiting till they're settled and he hesitates before asking. "Do you want out?"

Somehow it doesn't come as a surprise to her; it's been clear to her that there were no more stories coming from Sun Hill.

"I can extract you." In part the idea is appealing; to walk away from the mess she has with Neil. Then again she has come to love her job as a police officer. He senses her hesitation and it's clear he doesn't agree with it.

"You're burnt out and stressed, that's no good to me. I can put you somewhere else; it doesn't have to be undercover." Andrea realises her secret will be out if her name starts appearing on stories on the front page of the Daily News.

"I…can I have a couple of months?" She knows he knows why she's asking for time.

"Glad it's you that has to get out of this and not me." For the first time she sees sympathy, not the patronising type. For the longest time after he's gone Andrea sits and twists the ring on her middle finger.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Neil doesn't bother to announce his return, the house hasn't changed - still empty and quiet. He leaves his bags inside of the door, listening for rock music that isn't assaulting the walls. He stops before the kitchen archway when he sees his family at the table, their chairs face each other, the conversation intense and for a moment Neil lurches running possible scenarios through his head. He watches the way Philippa leans forward, her hands holding Colin's who seems to be having a hard time digesting the information he's getting. It strikes an emotion in him when she pulls him into her.

Neil looks inside of himself for love for Philippa. He asks himself if it was never there like he told Andrea or does it just need to be recovered – reignited, the pilot light on but the flame out. He asks himself about everything they've been through together, all the highs and lows, the years they've supported and encouraged each other in everything they've done though ultimately careers and so much else were achieved individually. Neil looks at Colin, the best thing they ever did and should have done at least twice more. He's so proud of the person his son is, how he's turned out to be a good person but how crushed he would be, despite saying the opposite, if his parents split. There's a minefield of damage a divorce brings to children – at any age. There's years of his life that have been dedicated and invested, his vows – till death do us part, all that they've built around them and for themselves – a life together. Although he hates the father-in-law thing, he realises she's her fathers daughter and he's never going to change that.

Neil asks himself the same thing he has all weekend, does he really want to walk away from it all. There's the kiss that he shared with Philippa when he left Thursday and the sight of the hug in front of him, how could he selfishly destroy all of that – send shockwaves through the life of his son, turn everything on its end and shake it? It becomes clear to him he's not ready to walk away – somewhere inside of him it's been buried.

"Dad," Colin sees him and extracts himself from Philippa's arms; his eyes show pain as he embraces his father, surprising Neil. Philippa looks at him indicating its o.k., head upstairs. Neil's attention is turned back to his wife; he makes no effort to hide his confusion. At her insistence he sits in the chair where Colin was only minutes ago.

Philippa opens her mouth but the words don't flow and she has to stand and put some distance between them before she can speak. As Neil digests the words he knows why.

"I've wanted to move into international law for a long time now." She shifts her weight and Neil realises a tonne of bricks are about to fall. "I was offered a job on Thursday, for an international firm."

"Where is it?" Neil interrupts; he knows that's what she doesn't want to say. "It's in New York." Neil's heart sinks; confused with the new development having only minutes ago made a decision. "I've asked Colin to go with me…and I'm asking you now for a trial separation."

Neil always thought this would be a happy moment but it's too much all at once and now he's no longer sure.

"You found out on Thursday and you didn't tell me then, you just let me go away for the weekend, you don't want me to come, you can't take a job with a firm here in London?" Neil doesn't yell or scream, just a rational attempt to have his questions answered and for a solution to be found, most of all he doesn't want Colin so far away, especially when their relationship is on the mend.

"I needed to think about the offer and how I was going to tell you. The offer is on the table for a few months, mine to take when I want it; you can come for Colin's sake but please don't come for mine." Numbness sets in. "It's for the best Neil, I need time apart, a break, a longer one and I need to do this for myself." The last words awaken his cynicism, typically career first but he keeps the comment at bay. Unable to find anything more to say he heads upstairs to his son.

The music isn't blaring and the headphones aren't on, Colin sits on his bed seemingly as shocked as Neil. The mattress sinks under his weight and they sit in silence until Neil realises he'll have to say the first words.

"You really want to go?" Neil saves his son the stress of having to address his face.

"I'll miss my friends but it'll be kinda cool – for a while anyway." The last half of the sentence gives Neil hope.

"You're mum told you what she wants from me didn't she, that's what she was telling you before you hugged me."

"Yes." The word doesn't escape easily.

"You know we both love you right and this has absolutely nothing to do with you and it's certainly not your fault, we're both proud of you." They're emotional words for Neil and Colin deserves to be looked in the eye when he gets them.

"I know."

"Are you o.k. with this trial separation?" It takes strength to hold the eye contact.

"I won't like having two of everything and being so far away from one of you, it'll be hard to be fair to both you and mum." He hesitates and Neil knows he's afraid to express his opinion.

"It's alright." Neil reassures.

"I think it might be for the best." An almost echo of Philippa's words.

Neil sits for a while in his teenage son's room before turning in himself. He sleeps in their bed with Philippa that night but there's a larger gap between them.

* * *

To be continued in the next story…Story ID - 2750079 


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